Ode to Hubert "Mini-Mew" Napoleon

(Edit:  my cat(dog?) Hubert Napoleon aka Mini Mew, Bacon, "such a brat", Joey, CassaNova, and Booger Butt, born appropriately on Feb 14, 2010 was found dead on October 22, 2014.  It appears he died from a fall while playing with stink bugs by the window-a good way to go.)

No more endless hours playing fetch with my hair bands.  

No more buying them every other month to replace the ones you carried off to that special hiding place I've yet to find.

No more belly rubs- seriously baffles me how much you loved your belly.

I won't have to say "move over Bacon" every single morning as I dash to the toilet. (What was I thinking putting your food dish in the bathroom?!)

No more marveling at how desperately you'd cry for food - even though the bowl was never empty.  

Gone is your super sonic squeaky melodic purr.

Winter nights will be a bit colder, you were such a good blanket - even if I could hardly breathe under your weight.

1. 

Speaking of winter, I'm sad you won't be around for Christmas Tree ornament boxing/soccer season.  It was your all time favorite sport.  

No more redecorating the tree DAILY because of the 10 to 12 ornaments I'd find scattered all over the floor.

Gone are the HOURS spent looking for my glasses.  I can't find the picture- but I swear I have proof how you'd take my glasses and tried to hide them as a ploy to keep me home. 

You had a thing for playing Capture the Flag with my yarn balls too.  It was fun to watch you take my yarn into the bedroom, lay it down and jump on the bed to watch me retrieve it.  

...heh.  I guess you were still playing fetch. 

I never had to hunt for my phone in the mornings.  You were SO good at laying on top of it - every morning.  It just took me a while to learn to turn the music on so I could hear the muffled melodies.  I swear you almost had a smirk on your face as you watched me frantically searching for it.  I know you didn't want me to leave.  

Gracie Mae *might* miss you.  She stopped playing as much when you came along, though.  (You could be a bit of a bully)

...which reminds me

Maybe I won't constantly relive tha time you bore the brunt of my wake up call that night Kip flung your young body into the dresser with such force that it broke your hip.  You helped me see that I could be in danger too. 

I'm glad we got out & I'm glad you're no longer in pain...and no longer a "scardy cat".  

Oh...and thank you for all the help you gave me make the bed and with my sewing projects.  

As much as I complained, I secretly loved your obsession with me, and your crazy antics.  

Goodbye Mini-Mew.  Thank you.

Melodious Reminders

God knew what he was doing when he placed this hymn in my heart.  It has kept me going in the hardest of times.  

It's badly sung, the guitar part needs practice...and one insect was murdered in the process of making this video.   (Wait...2) 

http://youtu.be/iVRlcykKE4o

(Sorry...were you expecting on screen murders???) 

The other song that has consistently kept me in tune with truth and the knowledge that I'm covered during times of stretching is Day by Day - not the one you might be thinking of.  

Erick Hauck does the best rendition on his album "Dusty Little Feet". 

The first stanza goes:  

Day be day and with each passing moment 

Strength I find to meet my trials here

Trusting in my Father's wise bestowement

I've no cause for worry or for fear

He whose heart is kind beyond all measure

Gives unto each day what is the best

Constantly it's part of pain and pleasure

Mingling tool with peace and rest. 

During the hardest season of my life so far, I had an entire playlist of songs that I went to - often playing them on repeat all night so I could sleep.  

What are your go to songs?  

Caption This

*This is what happens when storing floppy toilet paper packages on the shelf above the open washing machine.

*1st world problem

*You've heard of the elephant in the room...

*Why busy-ness actually takes more time than wise scheduling..

*At least it wasn't a check? 

*I checked the pockets...just not the machine itself!

You know how it is when you've washed a load and one pair of pants had a Kleenex in the pocket.  This particular load had an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper.  I had planned on wearing a sweater and a pair of slacks from that load to work today.  

Those 2 items were shaken and placed in the dryer with high hopes.  I'm hoping the lint brush is extra sticky...

The rest was shaken out and then rewashed.  I'll deal with the snow-like appearance of my bathroom tonight...and hope.  

This truly is a 1st world problem, but one that needs to be looked at.

See, I've been avoiding reading a new book entitled "The Best Yes" about over committing - I think.  I don't know because it apparently isn't even downloaded to my kindle app.  

So, I'm too busy to read, potentially over committed, and too busy to notice that there's an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper in my washing machine.

Rewriting Lyrics

The very first song I learned to play on my guitar went something like this:  

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after You

You alone are my heart's desire 

And I long to worship you.

You alone are my strength my shield

To You alone may my spirit yield

You might know it.  I haven't played it, in years, but were I to play it earlier today, at one point or maybe three, I might have changed the words - which would have been awkward, because my words wouldn't have fit the melody at all.  

As the deer pants (because who really uses Kings English) for the water
So my soul longs for things to work out and be easy
Being successful (*my* definition of success) is my heart's desire
And I long to have more likes, views, and comments on my posts.

I don't have the strength to keep going, and I feel more vulnerable than ever
Why did I let my spirit yield to so many other things besides You???

...because you alone are the Real Joy giver

I looked at the waves and the storm, and my salmon supper sprawled on the floor as I perseverated on my TWO broken printers and lack of time to organize things so that my already too packed day could fit just a little more in, and I took my eyes off of Jesus - the One who is never afraid of getting washed out to sea.

So now, I'm going to crawl into bed and listen to this song by Robbie Seay Band....possibly on repeat - all night long.

Jesus, garden of my rest

Your fragrant beauty fills the air

I lean and lay against Your chest

Forever safe and happy there

Eyes that flame with holy fire

I stay my love and fix my gaze

You meet and fill my heart's desire

And fill me with Your perfect grace

Maybe tomorrow I won't try to rewrite already perfect Lyrics....well, except for taking out the King's English.   #newmerciesinthemorning

Never Once Did We Even Walk Alone

Seeing my college roommate on Facebook sparked the memory of when I first began playing guitar.  Although I was definitely a Christ follower at that time, I had not given Jesus control, or Lordship over my heart.  I was pretty much still in charge.

(me, WAY back then...)

She and I, in our room on the 2nd floor of the Koinonia House, were having a discussion on stubborn independence verses actually asking for help.  That's the moment I said those famous last words: 

"I don't want to EVER have to depend on anyone."

In my mind I immediately walked across campus to the 2nd floor of the Rhyne building where I had a class.  But it could have been the following day or even later that week.  But you know how famous last words seem to hang like a dense fog until the actual event.

In this case, the event happens in the bathroom on the 2nd floor of the Rhyne building just as I am pulling up my jeans.  (TMI, right? ...sorry.)  The sound my knee made at that moment when I barely turned my leg was excruciating to even the girl in the next stall.  My knee twisted by itself completely out of place and back again.  Not a sound I ever want to hear again, and definitely not a feeling I would wish on my worse enemy.

The fog of my last words (as well as about 20 years of time gone by) keeps me from remembering the exact nature of my injury that was actually caused by overdoing it on the rowing machine earlier that day and thankfully not from improper dressing technique.  :P 

There I was, in the bathroom (thankfully dressed) unable to walk, in a great deal of pain, and dependent on the girl in the next stall (a stranger) to help me.  

I was on crutches for the next several weeks.  I needed someone to carry my tray in the cafeteria for *every* meal.  Practicing my French horn meant hobbling across campus to the Music building and asking someone to carry my instrument upstairs to one of the practice rooms.  I'm pretty sure I opted for practicing on just the mouthpiece as much as possible during those weeks. I was (am?) that stubborn.  There didn't seem to be any activity I could do on my own, in my own strength.  I wept often, and hosted a few pity parties even. 

My roommate didn't come to my pity parties.  Carol often giggled (not snickering, but definitely seeing the humor in God's timing of what He would allow.  She remembered my vow, and didn't mind lovingly rubbing it in once or twice with well placed "I told you so's".  But even while she giggled, she patiently loved on me, and helped me with all I couldn't do.  Our friends also helped often.  Strangers on campus held doors, offered to carry things for me, and said encouraging things.  

I'm grateful I was part of such a loving community when my knee was injured.  

A few years later I heard a wise friend use this passage to show me how stubborn self reliance is like the people Isaiah talks about here.  

Isaiah 50:10-11

" Who among you fears the Lord

and obeys the voice of his servant?

Let him who walks in darkness

and has no light

trust in the name of the Lord

and rely on his God.

Behold, all you who kindle a fire,

who equip yourselves with burning torches!

Walk by the light of your fire,

and by the torches that you have kindled!

This you have from my hand:

you shall lie down in torment."

(Check out Larry Crabb's book Connecting for more about firelighters.)

I'm a firelighter. I'd much rather use the light on my phone, or use the light of my own reasoning to see in the dark, rather than gingerly step out into the unknown, trust that I'm going to be cared for in the moment, and trust that God has gone before me.   I'd rather take control of what I do know.  My sinful nature wants to stay safe inside my little box where I'm in charge of everything in my box.  

I hope it's safe to say that back then, I feared rejection so fervently that I didn't want to take even the slightest chance needing anyone.  

Maybe this is why I love sunbeams so much now.  The warmth of the sun reminds me of how MUCH Jesus delights in stubborn, fearful little me.  It reminds me that He's got my back *and* my front; and it reminds me that not only is He *big* enough to handle my 'yuck', but he delights in me and longs to bring warmth and joy.

 Isaiah 52:12

" For you shall not go out in haste,

and you shall not go in flight,

for the Lord will go before you,

and the God of Israel will be your rear guard."

Even WAY back then, on crutches, never once, did I ever walk alone.

31 Days of Writing

31 days of New Creation Living and New Songs

I'll try to post links to each post here, since I'm choosing to commit to this challenge.

Day 1 - 31 days (or 27?)

Day 2 - A Few of My Favorite Things

Day 3 - The Beauty and Courage in a New Song

Day 4 - How on earth is it possible???

Day 5 - Never Once Did We Ever Walk Alone

Day 6 - Rewriting Lyrics

Day 7 - 

Day 8 - 

Day 9 - 

Day 10 - 

Day 11 - 

Day 12 - 

Day 13 - 

Day 14 - 

Day 15 - 

Day 16 - 

Day 17 - 

Day 18 - 

Day 19 - 

Day 20 - 

Day 21 - 

Day 22 - 

Day 23 - 

Day 24 - 

Day 25 - 

Day 26 -

Day 27 - 

How on earth is it possible???

Th1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

" Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other's nerves you don't snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live."

The next memory verse that I'd want to write a song about is 1 Thes 5:18.  How on earth am I going to do that???  I don't want to water it down.  I don't want to lose the context.  

Wow...the context.  

Did you see what it says to do?  How on earth am I going to live it out???

That's my face when I was trying to figure out the bluesy chords for my last song.  

This is a failed (yet consistent) example of my cooking.  I promise the two pictures are related.  

I stress over cooking for other people because I genuinely like them and don't wish for any of them to perish. 

Rewind with me to this summer when one of my favorite watoto Mafiki * assures me that Pancakes are, indeed, the very best option for a breakfast for supper meal.  I've never made gluten free pancakes.  What if they turn out like my pie crust??  

I tell him, I'm not sure about it.  I don't know if I can.

His reply is priceless and ruthless at the same time.  He tells me "But Ms. Rebecca, aren't you ALWAYS telling us we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens?"

You saw that, didn't you?  He used my own words against me. 

I told everyone that Jesus and I made some pretty yummy pancakes that evening.  

So I guess, since I can't write this new song on earth, I'll have to ask the One who *made* the earth for help? 

Prayers - or suggestions of songs that already fit the bill are definitely welcome, as well as prayers that I will depend on Jesus for the living it out part.  

*(Kiswahili for children and friends) 

The Beauty and Courage in a New Song

My new favorite thing, including (or maybe because of) the struggle, is song writing.

I started taking guitar lessons because I'm a lifelong learner, and because my guitar was sitting in it's case sorely neglected. But really, because music heals my heart.  I was surrounded in ashes and needed something new.

I wrote my first song a little under a year ago after a retreat.  

....actually, the first was ages ago when I was still a student at LR.  I was soothing a toddler I was babysitting by singing songs about Jesus.  Out of the overflowing of my heart in that moment, a new melody and words formed themselves into a chorus.  

I was surprised when the words and melody came back to me 20 (some) years later.  I don't think I ever sang it again after that babysitting job, nor did I write it down.  

The Holy Spirit has consistently used song to woo me as a child, to love on me, to admonish me (another form of love), and to fill my heart with hope and purpose.  Music is most definitely my 'Love Language'.  It's how I relate to God. 

So it comes as no surprise to me that I'm beginning to share songs with the children on Wednesday nights.  

Haha!  Okay, that's kind of a lie.  I was *very* surprised when I felt promoted to write the first song.  It was no problem for me to prepare other people's songs to share with the children.   I didn't have time, with the intense busy-ness of the beginning of the school year, to work on a song.  But in the overflowing of my heart after worship one Sunday, I woke up from a nap with this song for September's memory verse. It literally wrote itself in like 5 minutes! (Psalm 86:15):  

Then came this little bluesy number for October (I definitely am in need of a lesson or three to make it work...). Joshua 1:9

I've had a ton of fun using scripture for lyrics.  I was in disbelief when one of the other leaders said that her kids watched my video over and over, and awe struck when I heard that a friend's daughter was overheard in the shower singing my song.  My heart was even struck silent when I realized that all 60 some kids at that Wednesday night program were singing my song *without* the words.  I suddenly understood how budding pop artists get so excited hearing their song on the radio for the first time.  

But do you want to know the BEST part of song writing?  The very best part?

It happened the other night.  An adorably precocious little girl - I'm guessing she's 5 or 6, with jet black hair, and a sparkle in her soulful eyes excitedly whispers to me "I know another song with those same words!"  Since I'm still "on stage" and we are about to transition to the next activity, I had to ask if she'll share it with me later.  Later didn't come until the very end of the evening.  Her mom had already come to pick her up.  

This precious one, whom God loves SO VERY much, proceeds to sing *her own* version of Joshua 1:9 - that she was apparently making up in that very moment as she was singing it.  

My awkward song ignited something in her.  She was enjoying God's Word, and was living out the very concept of Joshua 1:9.  Y'all, the melody was off key, had a random tempo, and yet, was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.  

I love her childlike example of bravery.  I love how the Holy Spirit orchestrated that very moment.  

I'm wondering if the moral of this story is:  

Be bold, y'all.  Be courageous.   Risk relationships - because that's what songs are.  But most of all be childlike...and listen.  You might just hear a song, too.

A few of my favorite things

When things don't go my way I do one of five things:

1.  Throw a pity party (keeping it real).

2.  Laugh it off or shrug my shoulders because I realize it was out of my control to begin with (what I long to do more)

3.  Make a spreadsheet or clean my desk (or something else that appears out of control). 

4.  Sing a song (in the spirit of The King and I - "whenever I feel afraid, I whistle a happy tune ..."

5. Make a list of what I'm grateful for that includes tough tasks of endurance, confusing and pain filled growing, and unmet longings that point me to the Lover of my Soul - the only one who can meet me in those deepest of places.

Today...

heh...today I've managed to do all five- even # 2 (but that was only after the first event).   

Here's my list of my favorite things (in the spirit of a song from yet another great musical)

*  The 2nd grader who said to me:  you look like someone I know without glasses when you don't wear your glasses."

*  3rd graders who picked up on a tough concept in a short number of days, and excitedly ran out of my room with their papers to show their teacher.  

*  Hugs from students.  

*  turning in a report early (because I was able to make the spreadsheet work for me)

...my heart is better now.  I hope nothing else happens.  But if it does, I hope I'll remember # 2 and the 2nd part of # 5.

31 days (or 27)

I'm up for (most of) the challenge put forth by Meredith from Milk and Honey Counselling.  

I'm thinking I'll write about daily results from intentional relationships.  

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  I had some relational fails and some awkwardness too, but also a few touchdowns.  

One of my touchdowns was in finding a way to tackle fear of writing with two of my most reluctant writers using football.  Who knew you can teach nouns using football positions?! 

(Squirell moment - Can someone tell me why there is an outside runningback and not an inside runningback??) 

I have had the blessing of leading a 10 minute segment with the children at church on Wednesday nights.  each month there is a memory verse, and this is the 2nd month I wrote a song to go with it...or tried to.  

I didn't realize how much relating can happen between a song writer and her audience.  

Tears still well up in my eyes thinking about how that played out last night.  

...and I think I'll write about that tomorrow.  :-) 

1st down 30 yards (days...of writing) to go.