A Lullaby Prayer

I really loved a song-prayer that a new friend and her family sang for 6 years as they asked The Lord for the desire of their heart with regards to adoption.  I loved the way a song-prayer feels more trusting, less desperate.  So, I determined in my heart to write my own. 

It's okay, I decided, that I want a sibling group under 5. The children's room will have a crib/toddler bed and a full sized bed. Abba loves me, wants us to ask him for what we desire, and He delights to give good things. ...

I started my song in 6/8 time - a good swaying lullaby kind of song.

...and the words came. 

Abba
Abba Father
I want - (this is where the music in my head comes to a record scratching halt)

"No God, that's not what this song is about. I'm supposed to put something poetic in this spot about changing diapers, bottles, and potty training - all the things I long to do as a Mom. This is where I share my heart with you and you listen and orchestrate a plan or three to bless me because I believe you have enough love for me even when times are hard. K?"

So I started the lilting melody again:

Abba
Abba Father
I want .... "Fine."
(And I opened my hand-again, smiled, sensed His loving smile - and maybe a chuckle as I took a deep breath and released the rest of my song)

I want Your will
Abba Father

Children of
The Heavenly Father
Safely in His bosom gather
Nestling bird or star in heaven
See the refuge He has given

Abba
Abba Father
I want your will
Abba Father
Show me your way
Give me your heart
Show me your face
You have my heart.

Then I sang the rest of the hymn with my new refrain and the words cut my heart. I've always loved it, but it has new meaning as a potential foster mom.

Though He gives
Or He takes
Abba Father never forsakes
It's His loving purpose solely
To preserve them
Pure and holy.

Neither Life

Nor death will ever

From The Lord 

His children sever

Unto then His grace He shows

And our sorrows

ALL He knows