Remembering to be Grateful: A Challenge from A to Z

A- 

That's a hard one.  I'll come back.

B- beautiful, bountiful BETHLEHEM!  (that was easy!). 

C- courage, a new thing in my heart formed by the fire of trials, curiosity, cameras, catsup (it's just a fun word!), and Cool Whip runs to WalMart with Tyler

D- dreams and visions, and the way they enCourage, Delany's smile

E- Grandpa's Elmer Fudd ears.  I sure do love that man!  It was sad when he exclaimed how he wished I lived closer.  Me too, Grandpa.  Me too.

F- Feral Fred :-), Fridge Art (...yeah, I could have put that on A) 

G- Grandma's kisses, guitars, gummy bear rewards

H- softened hearts, Haven Rest (aka my house), and being able to help others without enabling

I- iguanas (so cute!), injuries and the odd way they heal our hearts in other places

J- red jiggly Jello with sliced bananas

K- memories of kite flying at recess with my boys.  I miss them so much!

L- laughter, the good belly jiggling kind (jiggling is a good thing...except where triceps are concerned)

M- a mother's heart in labor, my Murphys, Movember-gotta love it!, messy relating, mercy

N- nature, nurture, Nutella, November, nephews, and new mercies

I got it now! 

A-  accepting No for an answer, a tough skill to teach ...and learn.

Okay, where were we?

O- ostriches with their head in the sand, I'm like that, hiding and pretending not to see. (note to self:  see C and remember you can choose to walk in the new creation you)

P-  popcorn presents, pomegranate seeds, parents 

Q- quarters wasted in The Claw, a cheap price for a memory.

R- rice made the Murphy way.

S- the way the sun rises and sets perfectly in my haven windows, songs-especially those sweet times when my heart hears the song the Spirit sings over me at night.

T-  Tetris, I love it when things fit nicely together. Life is like that for me, though-scrambling around to make it all fit.  

U- understanding, that moment the heart wakes up, "umm" (and the freedom to say it) 

V- is for volition and vacation 

W- water, living water, wells dug in 3rd world countries. 

....we interrupt this blog post for a google search to see if there's a '2nd world'

...well there you go!

S- is definitely for squirrel!! 

R- for random, and rabbit trails that bring us finally back to:  

X- What Does the Fox Say?  (Sorry-couldn't resist!)

Seriously, xylophones and x-Ray is all I got.  Sure I like music, and being able to see bones is cool -

Oh! Wait!  X-Ray vision!!!  I'm grateful for the way some people have been given the ability to see straight to the heart of the matter, to see through smoke screens, and bring to the light that which should never have been hidden.  

Y- yellow rose memories of both Texas and unrequited love

Z- fun with zebra stripes, French Accents, and those sweet little zebra fish I used to help care for at my grandparent's pet shop.  

Suddenly this year, my grandparents got frail and old.  For the first time I can remember, we didn't play dominos after a holiday meal.  Did they miss it as much as I am missing it now?

M- memories:   Make them, hold onto them, cherish them, and be grateful - even for the hard ones.

Grace to be Thankful More

The sheer knowledge of the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit during a trial is reason enough to be thankful specifically for that trial.

So many times I'm moved to thank God when I receive something I wanted.  Though, I'm often struck at how the gift is more important to me than the giver....and it now appears the god I'm thanking is actually my idol.  

I'm guilty of often thanking the "little g" god of good weather for my special event, thanking the "little g" god of everything working out so that I can stay in my comfort zone, and even of shouting thanks to the "little g" god who finds lost keys.

(Edit:  thought-"little g" god = treating Abba as if he were my geni)

Colossians 3:15-17

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Verse 15:  be thankful for the peace Abba gives us.  

Where is the God of all peace when I am looking for my keys (again)?  

Where is my trust in El Shaddai, the all powerful when I am worrying about the weather?  

Where is Emmanuel, God with us, when I need comfort in the midst of uncertain times?  

Where is my faith in my Creator, the God of order who has assured each of us that He has a plan? (a good one, too!)

Abba, give me a thankful heart.  Renew a right Spirit in me.  I'm sorry for how I have chosen not to be holy and set apart because my comfort and my desires were more important to me than your love, provision, and presence in the midst of unmet longings.

I don't want to be one of those who models after the Israelites in the days when there was no king in the land and everyone did what was right in their own eyes.

I SO long to be able to sing with conviction the verse from the hymn "'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus"

"Yes I've learned to trust in Jesus

Just from sin and self to cease

Just from Jesus simply taking

Life and rest, and joy and peace.

..,Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust Him more."

So, what am I grateful for this Thanksgiving?  

Grace.  It's really all I have. 

A Lullaby Prayer

I really loved a song-prayer that a new friend and her family sang for 6 years as they asked The Lord for the desire of their heart with regards to adoption.  I loved the way a song-prayer feels more trusting, less desperate.  So, I determined in my heart to write my own. 

It's okay, I decided, that I want a sibling group under 5. The children's room will have a crib/toddler bed and a full sized bed. Abba loves me, wants us to ask him for what we desire, and He delights to give good things. ...

I started my song in 6/8 time - a good swaying lullaby kind of song.

...and the words came. 

Abba
Abba Father
I want - (this is where the music in my head comes to a record scratching halt)

"No God, that's not what this song is about. I'm supposed to put something poetic in this spot about changing diapers, bottles, and potty training - all the things I long to do as a Mom. This is where I share my heart with you and you listen and orchestrate a plan or three to bless me because I believe you have enough love for me even when times are hard. K?"

So I started the lilting melody again:

Abba
Abba Father
I want .... "Fine."
(And I opened my hand-again, smiled, sensed His loving smile - and maybe a chuckle as I took a deep breath and released the rest of my song)

I want Your will
Abba Father

Children of
The Heavenly Father
Safely in His bosom gather
Nestling bird or star in heaven
See the refuge He has given

Abba
Abba Father
I want your will
Abba Father
Show me your way
Give me your heart
Show me your face
You have my heart.

Then I sang the rest of the hymn with my new refrain and the words cut my heart. I've always loved it, but it has new meaning as a potential foster mom.

Though He gives
Or He takes
Abba Father never forsakes
It's His loving purpose solely
To preserve them
Pure and holy.

Neither Life

Nor death will ever

From The Lord 

His children sever

Unto then His grace He shows

And our sorrows

ALL He knows

Monday Morning

"Once I press myself into action, I immediately begin to live. Anything less is merely existing. The moments I truly live are the moments when I act with my entire will." ~ Oswald Chambers

I have been living inside my flu cocoon the last 24 hours, but I've been healthy (enough) for 48 hours.  Sometimes it's hard to break out.

"Choose this day whom you will serve, don't turn to the left or the right...."

I hear Jesus inviting me 'Today I set before you both life and death...choose life.'  

But I whine back "I don't want to live!"

Living involves risk, effort, and facing the fear that there isn't enough of me to go around, that I don't have the endurance to finish today's race.  I lack courage and the 'want to'-

-then I look up and seen the amber glow of the sunrise beckoning me.  Hope is there.  Jesus is there.  The Holy Spirit is there, and my Abba wraps His arm around my shoulder as we start the journey of today.

~Rebecca