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Monday, September 16, 2013

The Road Block that Points to the Road Less Traveled


My autopilot is about to go on strike.

A few months ago our little town made national news because of the intensity of the rain one day.  Months after repairs were promised, several roads remain closed and impassable.  One such road is right in the middle of my morning commute to work.

So many mornings, I get in the left hand turn lane and wait for the light to change before I remember that the sign by the side of the road is telling me (again) that I still can't go that way.  

Embarrassed, I flip the blinker to the right  and wait for a hole to open up in traffic so I can get to work via the cumbersome alternate route.  

Sameness is important to me.  I love my routine.  I love being in control of my routine.

Fasting is a lot like closing a road frequently and mindlessly traveled.  It forces me to see how deeply ingrained my autopilot program is.

It forces me to face the ways I'm so practiced at in creating my own "happy" illusion that allows me to escape from the healing power of reality.

...Yes.  I meant to say healing.  Surgery  to remove a cancerous tumor hurts (a lot), but it is a remedy.   So many times we think that we are entitled to feel better -  especially here in the 1st world. 

I'm guilty of saying to myself or wholeheartedly agreeing with others when they say "it's been a hard day, you deserve chocolate." 

Only my anesthesias of choice are Ice cream, bejeweled blitz, and slothfulness.

As crazy as the seven (okay, nine) made me at first, I'm secretly bubbling over with gratitude for the work this self imposed road closing is doing in my heart.

I love the mystery in how restriction can bring about freedom upon freedom.

#grateful

Edit:  oh yeah!  I almost forgot!  Even 15 days into it, the pull of ice cream and all things easy is still strong.  

I was about to give in again, when I saw this sign...

Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Sunday, September 15, 2013

A Different View of Pain



"My heart and flesh may fail / The earth below give way / But with my eyes, with my eyes, I’ll see the Lord… And I’ll know every tear was worth it all,"

There is something bigger - oh so beautifully bigger than what we see happening on the surface in the midst of painful times.  

My loved ones may be going through trials, but I know and can completely count on my Creator and Savior to have their *eternal* best interest at heart...

...as well as mine. 

"Jesus says:  "Not a hair of your head will be lost.  Your perseverance will win you your lives" (Luke 21:18-19).  We can only survive our world when we trust that God knows us more intimately than we know ourselves.  We can only keep it together when we believe that God holds us together. " ~Henri Nouwen

Whatever trial you are facing, whatever loss, whatever suffering, we can choose to trust in the Truth that:  

1.  God is kind.  He cares that we are hurting.  
2.  God is fair and just.
3.  He knows more. 
4.  He always acts for the betterment of his children.
5.  Things aren't always what they seem.
6.  No matter how dark things may seem, He's right there with you.
7.  Abba has amazing power to create beauty out of ashes.  

That's how He rolls.

Monday, September 2, 2013

What?!? No Chocolate?


A couple of friends of mine and I are doing the 7 fast from Jen Hatmaker's book "7" with the purpose of stripping our hearts of the idolatry of excess.

“Even now,’ declares the LORD, ‘return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love” (Joel 2:12–13).”

The first month focuses on food.  We each have chosen 7 (or nine) foods to eat for the entire month.  Mine are:  beef, eggs, spinach, apples, wheat bread, sweet potatoes, and block cheese.  I'm allowing a raspberry vinegrette to help with spinach consumption - since eating (blech) spinach is a discipline in itself, and each of us is allowing some caffeine to stay in our lives.  My Roo Cup is a staple, and I think my students will appreciate me increasing my list to nine.

I'm the only one in our group who has yet to read the book.  Since Jen writes it as a diary, I thought I'd read the book as I go.  

Today I'm clearing the fridge of leftovers and thawed items to prepare for shopping later on.   As I'm eating my leftover garlic chicken white pizza with black olives, I can't help but marvel in how flavorful it is.  The tang of the olives, the garlic( - oh the garlic!), and the creaminess of the white sauce.  

Soon after finishing, my thoughts turn to cleaning up the house.  

...I happen upon a wrapper.  It once hugged - nay, caressed a hazelnut chocolate bar imported straight to Aldi's from Germany.

All I can think about in that moment is how much I love and will dearly miss chocolate....and  ice cream, mint, banana smoothies made with *dark chocolate* almond milk, and cold cereal, and ...

And I get it.  I get what it means to take our thoughts captive.  This is a war.  - and I don't mean the card game!

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.