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Monday, September 16, 2013

The Road Block that Points to the Road Less Traveled


My autopilot is about to go on strike.

A few months ago our little town made national news because of the intensity of the rain one day.  Months after repairs were promised, several roads remain closed and impassable.  One such road is right in the middle of my morning commute to work.

So many mornings, I get in the left hand turn lane and wait for the light to change before I remember that the sign by the side of the road is telling me (again) that I still can't go that way.  

Embarrassed, I flip the blinker to the right  and wait for a hole to open up in traffic so I can get to work via the cumbersome alternate route.  

Sameness is important to me.  I love my routine.  I love being in control of my routine.

Fasting is a lot like closing a road frequently and mindlessly traveled.  It forces me to see how deeply ingrained my autopilot program is.

It forces me to face the ways I'm so practiced at in creating my own "happy" illusion that allows me to escape from the healing power of reality.

...Yes.  I meant to say healing.  Surgery  to remove a cancerous tumor hurts (a lot), but it is a remedy.   So many times we think that we are entitled to feel better -  especially here in the 1st world. 

I'm guilty of saying to myself or wholeheartedly agreeing with others when they say "it's been a hard day, you deserve chocolate." 

Only my anesthesias of choice are Ice cream, bejeweled blitz, and slothfulness.

As crazy as the seven (okay, nine) made me at first, I'm secretly bubbling over with gratitude for the work this self imposed road closing is doing in my heart.

I love the mystery in how restriction can bring about freedom upon freedom.

#grateful

Edit:  oh yeah!  I almost forgot!  Even 15 days into it, the pull of ice cream and all things easy is still strong.  

I was about to give in again, when I saw this sign...

Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

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