Abigail and her husband, Nabel have been separated now since Thanksgiving. Their marriage had disintegrated to the point that they were little more than roommates sleeping under the same room. Nabel had lost his job, and had left the God of his youth. He was miserable and depressed - some would say oppressed as well.
Earlier in the fall, Gail had sought counsel from a trusted local Christian counselor. She had been seeing him faithfully for months, but Nabel refused to see that he needed help, too. Finally, her sorrow and anxiety had gotten the best of her, she was fearful, wounded, depleted and battle fatigued. Her counselor saw the danger of where she was heading and suggested a retreat. In her spent state, she moved in with friends, not knowing how long it would be.
Gail tells me that when it first happened, she wasn't sure if they'd ever get back together or not. She even worried that he'd end up killing himself. His depression was that bad. Her heart was filled with worry and anxiety. In God's mercy, that very weekend, there was a healing seminar that dealt with removing Anxiety and Fear given by Operation Lightforce ministries. Isn't it neat how Abba works?
Another way God showed up was oddly enough through Goodwill. Years and years ago, being a lover of everything Larry Crabb and Dan Allender, she purchased one of Dan's books about marriage called Intimate Allies. After reading it, some 10 years ago, she gave it to a friend who was about to get married who in turn donated it to Goodwill. Amazingly, their counselor's wife found the book, with her maiden name written on the inside of the 2nd page, and purchased it.
Nabel, who never read anything she ever suggested, was so amazed that the book had found his beloved, yet estranged wife again after so many years, began reading it and digesting all that was inside. His eyes were opened to all he had been doing to her, to the pain he caused, and more importantly, to a new vision of what he should be as a husband provider. He began to see his bride as an image bearer of Christ, a beloved treasure. Nabel was earning a new name. He was becoming a Boaz.
The rest of their story is yet to be written. Gail is learning to receive Abba's love - the kind of love that casts out fear. She is learning about her worth, how she needs obedience and discipline; and she sees the need for courage, as well as how she was enabling Nabel's anxious rage and depression. She longs to be the kind of wife that 1Peter 2 and 3 describes.
Nabel is learning to trust. He is bravely examining the events of his life that have bred anxiety, rage and low self image. He is venturing into the realm of risk taking. Gail loves that he refers to the time she left him as his "waking". He fears going to sleep again.
They both are learning about how to truly love and accept each other. They both are learning about trust and how to listen and share.
Gail longs to move back home....I sure hope she is able to do so soon. I know how much she misses her husband and how she longs to begin the rest of their story.
