She's Barely Got A Dime

There's a line in a Mitch McVicker song that says "Blessed are the poor in spirit - Thank God! Cuz she's barely got a dime..."

When I looked up the Beatitudes just a minute ago in The Message translation, I was tempted to be still and examine how this applies to me. Then I was tempted to run. Now I know it must be the right thing to look at it....usually if I'm tempted to run, it's probably something that needs a truth light to shine and make the ugliness go away.

So here goes....

³"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

The first day of school this year, I was terrified. I wasn't ready. A sweet teacher reminded me "When you are weak, then He is strong." A light went off in my heart. I knew how incredibly weak I was. Therefore, God was going to make up for what I lacked and the day had no choice BUT to be a fantastic day. I was relieved. I guess I only allow those days once in a while. Having a string of them makes me feel like I'm less of a person. Flawed in some horrifying way.

⁴"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

...Wow. Control shouldn't be something that is held as dear. No wonder I don't feel Jesus' embrace when I lose it. :( I'm sorry, Abba for cherishing the wrong things.

5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

...I've always struggled, as a teacher, with feeling like I am adequate for the job. I was driven to the point a few years ago to undergo the torturous National Board Certification process solely because I needed the confirmation that I was doing a good job. Why do I need so much affirmation? Can't I be comfortable with who I am?

⁶"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

...(I don't want to type this part) When I'm busy, there isn't time to be hungry. It's funny how discipline for hunger looks like abstinence. Discipline for Manna involves daily trust, consuming of Jesus' body and blood through the cleansing of my soul, and drinking deeply of Him. (busy-ness)Being consumed vs. (meditative rest) Consuming and being nourished.

⁷"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

...if I'm focused on how well I look or how well my plans flesh out...I'm not truly caring for the precious lives I've been trusted with. Father, forgive me for not loving your children.

⁸"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

...Holy Spirit, I don't know how to do this. Look at my Spiritual TO DO list above. It feels impossible. When is there time in a day to rest? I know, nothing else will go right if I don't make that time...but it feels so impossible; and it means that I've been working SO HARD on the wrong path. Again with the failure.

......